Finding My Partner For Life

Five months and two weeks ago I proposed to my girlfriend and got a 'yes'. Going from being single and without a care in the world to being engaged has in itself been a blissful experience. I knew from the beginning that it would no be easy, and it was a challenge that I looked forward to facing.

In retrospect, I'm looking back at how this all started.

I met her at work. As if it was the script in some cheesy romantic movie, she was my boss, and if that cliche was not enough we started out as friends. It started with coffee. Hanging out together after work and just talking. I had come from a point where a previous relationship had ended on a rather sour note, and I was trying to kick a drinking habit that was already boarding on alcoholism. She had also been through something similar. It was nice to having a friend to talk to, I didn't have to keep things to myself and at the very least I kept me away from drinking. It's hard for me to remember at what point exactly I started entertaining the thoughts that we could be more than just friends. Towards the end of 2010 I had realized I was starting to fall for her. I decided to leave the company and pursue other things... her being one of them. When you find a girl who's willing to ride in your loud stripped out aircon-less car that's been sitting in the noon time sun, and she has to hop over the roll cage in her short dress, that has to be someone worth pursuing. Even if it meant leaving my comfort zone of a Job that actually paid quite well. After some courtship that would not be out of place in a John Loyd Cruz movie, including going through around 9 different cities just looking for a Starbucks that was open, we exchanged the verbal agreement to become mutually exclusive.

Bliss. Probably the most overused term in describing relationships. However, I can defend why I'd say our relationship has been blissful. Over the last couple of years, we experienced a lot of things together. Good things, bad things. We had our moments of joy and shared laughter, and also moments when we've hurt each other. Yes, we've had fights. Nasty ones sometimes involving somebody getting out of the car in the middle of traffic and walking away. An innocent post may also have been punched out of frustration leading to the injury of an innocent hand. We never broke up though, maybe somebody may had said something to that extent out of spite at one point, but without the acknowledgement of the other it was never official. The good times of course outnumber those, however believe it or not it's in those low moments that a relationship is forged. When your happy and having a good time, it's easy to gloss over things and get lost in the euphoria. When you're sitting a lone brooding about how you think the other person is unreasonable and imagining breaking up with them and how much easier and stress free things would be if you were single, is the time that you really test and see how much you love the other person, or not. Single life was great, you get to do whatever you want, when you want and you don't have to consider anyone else. You don't have to do things you don't want to do. You don't have to worry about hurting anyone. But when the desire to be with someone is stronger than all of that, when you'd put up with long (very long) shopping trips in a mall, wearing gay looking loafers and colorful clothes, not being able to grow an incredibly long beard that has a life of it's own because she thinks it looks dirty... The only explanation would be that you genuinely love the person and every moment spent with a person you truly love, both the good times and the bad, is bliss.

We had been boyfriend-girlfriend for a couple of years. How I decided it was the time to 'pop the question', I don't even really remember. I guess it's a sum total of all the feelings I had developed in the time we had been together. I can offer no logical explanation why I decided it was the right time to, all I knew is that on that early Monday morning on the 8th of July this year, everything felt 'right'. I had spent a lot of time looking at 'epic' wedding proposals on YouTube, thinking of elaborate ways to surprise her, but none of them felt right or really as sincere as I'd like. I didn't need anything fancy with video coverage, I felt like it was something that had to be private, shared only by the two of us. So again, after catching a movie, over some coffee, while talking and reminiscing out how things have been like over the time we had been together, I asked her if she would like to marry me. And so the adventure began.

Marriage. Scary word that. A lot of guys liken it to losing all freedom. The colloquial term for it translates to getting tied down. I don't remember ever fearing that. Although honestly I never also gave it much thought. It's said that you really have to prepare yourself before you consider getting married. You should be mature enough to handle the responsibility of starting your own family. You should be financially stable with a good amount of savings. You have to be sure that the person you are about to marry is the person you are willing to commit your life to. If there was a test to take that would allow you to get married, I certainly won't pass. 1 out of 3. Only the last case would apply. I know I'm far from ready for this sort of thing. Savings? I've been living it up indulging my self in all sorts of things, so I don't really have any, I wiped out whatever I had buying an engagement ring. All I knew was that I was sure she was the person I would like to spend the rest of my life with. I could imagine waking up next to her every morning, taking a shower in the bathroom while she poops, maybe having kids, and growing old together. I knew it was not going to be an easy journey, but it was just my style. I've always gone into things without really being prepared and figuring out how to make it work along the way. Think of it as cramming for an exam. It's definitely not the best way to go and things would be a lot easier if you prepared well ahead of time, but at the same time it is exciting, and in the end maybe even more rewarding. I'm well aware that things to come will be difficult, it will involve a lot of sacrifices, blood sweat and tears. There are still a lot of uncertain things, but I am sure that on August 8, 2014, when we exchange our vows and commit 'till death do us apart. It will be the happiest day of my life.